i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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