So drunk, too bad you don't want this
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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