Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
