I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
