Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
