Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
