she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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