his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
