chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
