i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
