My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
