I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
