i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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