How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
