is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
