if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
