I'm really into asian looking animals
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
