When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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