i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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