Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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