fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
