Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
