Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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