You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
