Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
