I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
