butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
