If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
