If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Randomize
