He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
