i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think my moral compass just broke
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
