I met the friendliest cop last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
