I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
