2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
