we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
