but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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