She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
