I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
