You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
NoShamevember. You game?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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