She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
