How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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