would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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