Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
