i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
