We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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