I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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