Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
