Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
