The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Two words: blizzard sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need water and some morals
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
