If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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