I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
