420 ftw
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
