That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
